Does your family lack healthy boundaries?
We do better when we know better. In regards to boundaries, we may do better when we can’t take it anymore. When we lack healthy boundaries, our relationships can feel heavy and painful.
Families contain separate individuals, and successful families have a strong sense of their identities and needs.
Boundaries, in short, are the space where you start and the other person begins. Without understanding our true self and our true need, relationships can’t flow nor enhance our lives.
To communicate our needs and desires, we have to understand ourselves fully. When we have a strong concept of ourselves, we appreciate the uniqueness of others.
What are the boundaries?
They’re a way to honor ourselves within our relationships and families.
Boundaries are limits we set in relationships and within ourselves that allow us to remain true to who we are. Boundaries come from a sense of self-worth. They allow us to separate our thoughts and feelings from others and take pride in our uniqueness.
Boundaries are for you. They’re not to influence or control the behavior of others. You say no when it's needed; you have boundaries, you set limits because you deserve happiness and peace. It’s not about providing guidelines for others; it’s about deciding how you want to live and being it.
Families can be tricky, full of co-dependency, expectations, and interpretations. The pushback we can get when we set boundaries can be alarming especially when they’ve operated without boundaries for decades.
Here are 10 signs your family may lack healthy boundaries:
they believe others should anticipate their needs, and if they aren't, they actively or passively punish.
Members think their needs should be filled automatically without ever communicating them
they pry into your personal business and share details with others
some force judgment and opinions without being asked
others have a hard time separating or owning their own beliefs and judgments
they pry/interfere with your marriage or relationships
some air grievances about other family members causing harm to inner family relationships
they say Yes when they mean No. They say No when they mean Yes. Leading to resentment & passive aggression.
He can be little or shun you as an attempt at controlling your decisions or behavior.
Some take because they can; others allow the takes instead of boundaries. Emotionally, monetarily and physically.
Boundaries play an integral part in healthy relationships; without them, we lack self-identity, settle for second best, and feel over-responsible and guilty. It's an easy trap that confuses the difference between love and rescue.
When we navigate into who we are, our relationships can bloom and grow.
The journey into ourselves can be challenging – but worth it. It's coming to know ourselves and grasping awareness of what we stand for. It means self-acceptance and realizing we are worthy of joy.
I want to hear about your healthy boundaries. Leave me a comment below and tell me a little about your journey to healthy boundaries.
Have questions or concerns, contact me below.